My vows are word vomit and I’M SICK OF THEM.
Woah, woah. Is it getting hot in here, or is that just me?
Chill out, you little love monsters - it’s going to be OKAY! Here’s why:
It’s not uncommon for couples to get their knickers in a twist when it comes to Wedding Vows. Thinking about them, writing them, reading them! As a Civil Marriage Celebrant, my couples often remind me of all the variables to consider: what will my partner write? Will it be one million times better than what I say? Or will it be completely different? What if I don’t get it right – everyone will be looking at me with their laser eyes! What if a spider bites me and I turn into a SuperHero mid ceremony and the world needs me!?
Yikes! Sounds like a bit of a drag, doesn’t it? Too much pressure, too much vulnerability, too much opportunity for something to go wrong. BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! There are MANY misconceptions about what Wedding Vows have to be, but the truth is – they can be anything you like. As long as they’re authentic to you! (I know we’ve just met, but imagine I’m shaking your shoulders to and fro. For emphasis, not a spew.)
Here’s the thing, Your Wedding is the celebration of your unique and unbreakable bond with another person. It’s designed to portray a mutual commitment to love and laughs through the highs and lows, achievements and failures, Cocktails and Mocktails - not to mention a little nod to the person that’s triumphantly taken your heart hostage. Your Ceremony honours your relationship, by telling your story (and you know, legally binding you in Marriage.) Sitting snug, somewhere inside that story, is an opportunity to speak up about what makes your partner special, what kind of life you want to live with them or at least why you’re standing there in the first place. (Because you didn’t show up, dressed all fancy, smelling scrumptious by accident. Did you?)
If I know you, and I think I do – you’ve spent a lot of time and energy carefully curating this event to make sure every detail reflects your relationship. Every creative you’ve brought on board is aligned with your vision, your goal, your glimmer shimmer of hope that all those Wedding dreams will in fact become a reality. So, don’t rip yourself off by skipping or skimping on the opportunity to bring everything together with your vows - hence wrapping up Your Wedding like you would a professional taco.
If you’re flipping out at the thought of diving into your Wedding Vows, grab a wine and have a browse over these approaches. If one doesn’t work – try the next!
The Ol’ Switcheroo:
A modern twist on the favoured tradition. Always a laugh and absolutely the crowd favourite. Each partner writes vows for the other, as a surprise (no telling) and SWAPS them during the ceremony. Essentially, your partner has written your vows to them, FOR you. It's easy, it's breezy and no-one gets a wedgie in the process. Stick to what’s most important or most common in your relationship, however this option works best with a quick intro 2-3 funny promises, 1 heartfelt promise and a one-line summary.
Words From Untamed Hearts:
These are the savage songs that come pouring from your beating heart. They're juicy and they're intimate. They have meaning, depth and lashings of unwavering love. THEY ARE POWERFUL AND THEY TAKE GUTS. They're raw and honest. Brilliant, just like you. If this is your flavour - go hard and stay authentic by speaking with deep respect and incredibly high value for the person on the other end of your voice.
Real Shit from Realists:
Day to day existence with your partner is nothing like anything you've heard of before. It's weird, it's whacky and IT ROCKS. You two are pretty friggen unique, so you're telling this tale, bare bones. If you don't speak the love lingo, don't crap on about something that means nothing to you or your relationship. Instead, how about a hell yeah for being straight up and saying IT how IT is.
Alas, the jig is up and your worst fears are gone with the wind. Pull those undies out of your bottom and start writing your Wedding Vows NOW! And er, on a side note – if a spider does bite you mid ceremony and the world needs a Hero, leave it to your Celebrant. We’ve got you covered.
